Where is Fitzwilliam Darcy when you need him?

Looking for an idiot example? Here ya go, compliments of the house:
I had a bit of a weekend. When all was said and done it involved a migraine, a fever (?), nose-bleed, jaw bleed, fainting, concussion and post-concussion check up. Because apparently spending hours waiting to be looked at is more productive than sitting at home. Anyway...

No, I'm not the idiot. And I have the MRI to prove it! No, to me, the most ridiculous thing about the whole event was being told to "not faint where there are hard things to fall on that could cause further injury".

Oh. Ok. Didn't realize I could plan where and when to faint. I think I'd prefer no fainting at all, actually. But I guess, if it looks like it might happen again, I'll make sure there is a bed, a couch, a floor covered in cushions or some burly guy to catch me when I do go.